More Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn
by Zia Aizan
Summary: Tom and Huck head out west, meet indians, a chinese mine worker and discover gold. Read about "oriental magic" "blind loonies" "booby traps" "mowhawks" and other things that interest adventerous young heros.
1. Mr Twain—Injuns—California Trail

Dear Aunt Polly 

and Aunt Sally,

We ain't about civilizing.

We ain't about reforming.

If we havent' learned you by now,

We ain't never will.

We live for adventuring.

We dream about mischiefing.

So Huck an' I'll see you,

Next time there's an Injun in town,

Or captive needing to be freed,

Or treasure needing to be found.

signed (with love, Aunt Polly),

Tom Sawyer

_the Black Avenger of the Spanish Main_

and Huck Finn

_the Red handed_

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Mr. Twain—Howling Adventures with the Injuns—The California Trail 

I ain't about letting Huck get all the glory from our Adventures. If you've read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, the book Mr. Twain wrote about mostly me – that's right, my book came afore Huck's- or Huck's book Adventures of Huck Finn you know all about us. But you don't know what happened after we visited Aunt Sally unless you read this book.

What happened in those books were that Huck and I found Injun Joe's treasure and became starking rich. The Widow Douglass adopted Huck and I stayed with my dear Aunt Polly but something happened and Huck's pap came to take him away. He had to pretend he was murdered which made me mighty sad. But it ain't so bad cause he really went and had a grand adventure and I got to meet up with him at Aunt Sally's. He was pretending to be me so I had to be bratty little Sid and we got to rescuing the nigger Miss Watson had just freed in her will. Huck didn't know Jim was already freed, course, and it wouldn't have been no fun if he had so I kept mum and we had a jolly old time planning a proper escape just like in the books with Baron Trenck, and Casanova and Benvenuto Chelleeny and Henry IV. I got mighty lucky when Uncle Silas and the rest of the town came chasing after Huck, Jim and me cause they shot a handsome bullet right in the calf of my leg. Anyways, Huck and me got found out when Aunt Polly showed up knowing something was fishy when Aunt Sally wrote to her that Sid and I had come to visit when it was only supposed to be me. They weren't all that bad, fact Aunt Sally wanted to adopt Huck. Huck said he couldn't take no civilizing and more but I convinced him to say there few days before we ran away from home to go on howling adventures amongst the Injuns.  

We got a good piece o'money from Judge Thatcher and jumped on a steamboat headin' north.  We were gone for a weeks and I think the town pretty much believed we had drowned in the river again. It was shameful that we couldn't see if they were planning our funeral so we could attend it again. But we were busy with our adventures. I couldn't tell Huck in case he thought me a coward but I never been so scared in my life than the times we went on that River. In the daylight, in the night – ev'ry time I looked over the edge of the boat into the murky brown mud mixed water I got a sinking feeling. I can't understand how Huck lasted going all the ways to Illinois. And with Jim too – who was practically a convict up until Miss Watson set him freed.

We made it up river, towards Indian Territory.  We was anticipating seeing wild Injuns, but we had ourselves a heap o'fright afore we got there.  Whiles we was on the steam boat, we talked a spell to a family of three brothers, the Parkersons, who were traveling out west.  They said they'd heard ev'ry man out west struck gold in California an' that they was going to try their luck. They had another brother already out there, named Miles the third eldest of the four brothers.  I wondered about adventures out there, whether it would compare to adventures wid Injuns.  Then they said there was a heap o'Injuns out west, and parcels of adventures to be had.  I was just ichin to go.  Huck said that he reckoned it weren't no good goin' west as we was already rich and what'd we need more gold for? I told him that warn't the point! It was about the adventures we'd have but Huck just worried about death and murder and disease.  I finally convinced him of the romance of the adventure, tellin' him Aunt Sally couldn't never civilise him, as we'd be too dog gone far aways from her to ever lay a hand on us.  So, he agreed and we set off with them Parkersons, to jump off at St. Louis to hitch the Missouri river steam boat to Independence, being the beginnin' of the California Trail.  


	2. The Parkersons Brothers—Monkey Boy—Indep...

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The Parkersons Brothers – "Monkey Boy" – 

_ Independence_

The Parkersons, Jeb the eldest, Buck the second, and John the youngest, told us we'd need to stay in St. Louis one night and then we'd head out, as the steam boat wouldn't head out till tomorrow.  They said we could all head west together, as we'd told them we could take care o' ourselves, money wise.  They said Miles liked kids, so we'd be right welcome. Huck and I had some time to sit a spell, waiting for the steamboat.  While we's was setting on a porch in front of our hotel, a man came towards us, handin' out handbills saying:

**THE FRIGHT OF YOUR LIVES!**

At 1817 Cherokee Street, the famous ASYLUM

Come see DR. LUTZ MANNHEIM and his infamous patients!  

See the famous "MONKEY BOY"!

_50 cents for men, 45 cents for women and servants. Children not admitted._

Well, I was just _panting_ to go, but Huck _had_ to say, "Well Tom, it says, plain as day, no chilluns allowed, so we'se can't get in". 

I told him, "If we's old enough to gets on a steamboat, we's old enough to get into this here thing, and anyways, howse we agoin to recognize crazies if we don't see 'em here?"  

Huck had to admit I had a point, so we talked to the Parkersons, telling 'em all about the spectacle, and they was just panting to see it to.  They promised to help us get into it.  

When we got to the place, the man asked us "What's your name boy?" directing this at me.  

I told him, "I'se Sid Parkerson, and this is my twin George", referrin' to Huck.  The man looked at us, kinda doubtful like, but the real Parkersons stood by us, so we'se got in.  This was the scare part, cause those people really was freakish.  The "Monkey Boy" they advertised was there - as bizarre as promised - but he looked so sad.  I was a thinkin' he looked like a poor prisoner from Count of Monte Crisco, by Alexandree Dumbass.  But, I woun't reckon a loony like him'd be a poor prisoner like Jim. Anyways, we saw it, and we got scary thrill from the loonies muttering and tearing after us, alookin like they was about to soon tear our heads off.

Afterwards we headed to the inn, to sleep before our big trip to Independence. The trip down the Missouri was quick and we got to Independence in the early mornin'.  We set off wid the Parkersons to get supplies.  We agreed to split a wagon between us and each get our own supplies.  We hitched up with a wagon train with about thirty other wagons and headed out in the fine month of April.  


	3. Real Injuns—Cholera—Trading for Laudanum...

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Real Injuns – Cholera – Trading for Laudanum – Wampum and Tomahawk

Well, the trip, all six months of it, was long and tedious, cept for the part with the Injuns.  Yeah, we actually saw real Injuns. And talked to them, too  It was better'n any adventure book.  We was short on food, as the brothers ate more'n they expected to and we was held up with a sick ox for a spell. 

Anyways, one day Huck sees an Injun, on a horse, with war paint and wampum, comin' towards us!  I, of course, was running to tell the brothers the Injuns was about to attack us, when Huck caught up to me and said the Injun wanted to trade with us.  I was just plumb shocked at that, cause all Injuns want is scalps, and I was a kinda lookin' forward to whuppin all of 'em, but Huck said that we needed food, so we'd best trade with him. The Parkersons came over with us.  

The Injun was taller'n any man I'd ever seed.  He had nothing on but a loin cloth and a blanket round his shoulders.  He said, "You want food, I want white medicine, trade good for both".  I ran to get our small medicine kit while the brothers talked for food.  Huck told me later that the Injun said, "They get sweaty, they get the runs, then they die," meaning cholera.  Of course, we all knew that laudanum could cure it, but the Parkersons wouldn't trade it to the Injun.  I was wunderin why they wouldn't when I suddenly thunk that I didn't see no food on the Injun.  

In the end, the oldest Parkerson, Jeb, did the trading with the Injun, saying "If youse wantin' medicine, where's the food, the eating stuff?"  The Injun then when back to his horse and brought a deer carcass, still bleeding, along with a pouch full of dried buffalo meat.  Jeb made a noise in his throat, either of greed or hunger.  Huck said he reckoned it were greed.  Jeb then took the laudanum we had out of our kit.  The Injun said he needed lots and lots of it.  

"Many bottles, much medicine, good," was the way he put it.

"Give us a minute, and you'll get your many bottles" Jeb replied.  

Well, then Jeb took the laudanum we had, and to my shock, poured one bottle into one of our water sacks, then proceeded to fill up several of the smaller ones!  Huck noticed too, and said that Jeb were a'goin to cheat the Injun.  I didn't think it was too wrong until Huck got me athinkin bout the graves we'd seen alongside the trail and the sick people we'd seen with cholera.  I reckon there's no crueler death possible than with cholera, that's like the evil bandits that the good bandits fight for the honor of all bandits.  

So's I figured we aughta get the Injun some good medicine.  Huck just wanted ta up and give it to the Injun, but that wouldn't be the right way to do it.  I told Huck all about the plan, sayin' it would be a right good plan to do, seeing reason for once.  I came up with a really great plan, which went something like this.  We would wait until Jeb and the rest of them left, then ask the Injun to follow us a whiles until dark, then we'd "borrow", according to Huck, some of the food they got from the Injun, take it for ourselves, and give the Injun the good medicine from our packs.  Huck reckoned we aughta also tell the Injun about the brother's treachery, but I didn't think it too keen an idea, as you never know with Injuns what'll set them off.  

But, Huck convinced me, as the Injun might just use the bad medicine and then the little papooses and squaws would die, so I agreed.  The only problem was the Injun set off before the Parkersons left.  So, I was forced to run over to him, while Huck distracted the Parkersons.  He told me later that he'd told 'em that I wanted some wampum from the Injun.  Well, I reckon'd that the Injun would just kill me on the spot, but instead he stopped, got off the horse and talked to me like any reg'lar gent back home.  

"Those men bad, medicine not as good, follow us till no light, then we bring good medicine" I told him, simplifying it, as he was an Injun after all.  

He nodded, letting us know he understood, adding "The bad men will no see me.  Meet behind wagon," letting me know where to expect them.  He then made like he rode off, but he really had just disappeared into the grass.  I came back to the group.

Jeb asked, "Did you get yourself some wampum?"  

I was kinda surprised but said right away, "Nope, the Injun said it was sacred to his tribe, passed from his great granddaddy and couldn't trade it unless I gave him twenty enemy scalps," using a bit I read from one of my adventure novels.  Huck kinda smiled and turned away to keep from laughing.  The Parkersons looked kinder disappointed but we went on. 

From there on the plan worked to perfection.  The Injun was so grateful that he gave Huck a genuine Injun tomahawk and I got the string of wampum and a hunting knife, which I reckoned was right decent of him, and he rode off.  

Not much close to that caliber of excitement happened the rest of the way.  A couple of right frightening lightning storms which spooked all the animals, one accidental shooting of one man shooting his neighbor, thinking him a deer, but nothing really exicting like with that Injun.  The next adventure didn't happened until hit Sacramento.


	4. Man with the Pan —The Proud Son of Yan H...

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_Man with the Pan – The Proud Son of Yan Huang – The Blind Loony_

We finally arrived in a town, all worn out and I'se downright irritated with each other. Huck started talking nonsense about how we never shoulda came and I berated him fully. 

"What nonsense you talk, Huck. Do pirates ever stop looking for treasure because of a little weariness? Do generals stop conquests because of a little hunger? We're gonna be rich, Huck. We can spare a little right now for our futures."

"But we're already rich, Tom. And I didn't like having money so much. I lost my freedom being smothered at Widow Douglass's and then yourn Aunt Sally's. If we got even richer, I don't even know what'll happen."

"Well ain't you just a selfish little bloke. Just because you doan' won't to be rich no more why you wanna ruin it for me, Huck? Besides, it ain't the money that matters. WE are going to have ourselves a sweet adventure."

"But Tom," Huck said to me wearily, "That's what you said about that damned California trail and it warn't no fun doing all that walking."

"But we saw Injuns didn't we?"

"I wanna go home Tom, I don't like this idea no more."

Now that brought me to the edge of my patience. Huck is a simple-minded fellow, he is. He can't never see past the now into tomorrow. You gotta bear a little weariness in your present in order to meet a fortuitous future, don't you?

Well, I just left Huck with the Parkersons to take some time to think and repent for the foolishness he said to me. I wandered out into the barren desert-like regions around the town. I wanted to find out where all the miners were heading for to find the gold. The first person I found was this one tall man in denim trousers holding a metal pan. I walked to approach him and talk a spell but I discovered that he was busy. 

It appeared that he was picking on an peculiarly absurd looking man – I ain't kidding neither - he looked like he belonged in the asylum we saw back in St. Louis. I never saw such a man before. He weren't no nigger or Injun or Spaniard either. His skin was yellow- yellow as the blazing star in the sky called sun. His hair was black and short and his eyes were so narrow I thought maybe he was blind. If he was, it warn't right for the man with the pan to be belligerent to a blind man.

"This is no your land. I clam it. Mine." The strange loony said.

"Shut up, yar damn chink." The man with the pan said bearing his teeth. "Where do you get the right to take soil from a full blooded American. Go back to your damn island!"

"What you say?" The loony said in an offensive voice. "I no Japanese! I proud Son of Yan Huang!"

"It's all the same, coolie. This land is mine. So get lost before I blow yer head off!" The man dropped his pan to grab the shotgun from the holster by his trousers. My heart started beating through my chest as I remembered that the last murder I'd seen was that one committed by Injun Joe. And that one time had laid me up in bed for so many nights with nighmares. It had caused a considerable amount of trouble. I didn't warnt to see no more murders.

"Help! Help me!" I hollered as I ran out to the man aiming a pistol at the asylum escapee. He lowered his gun to talk to me real gentle-like, momentarily forgetting all about the loony.

"What's wrong, son?" he asked me.

I worked some tears to my eyes and said miserably to the man, "Some Injuns are attacking my family's wagon, sir! You've got to save them. My momma and pappy, and lit-little Sue!" I started rambling

"Sure, boy. Sure. Where'd you say they were?" the man asked me urgently. I pointed off away from town and the man ran a little ways off to reach his horse and hitched onto the creature. "Stay here, away from danger son." He told me afore he turned to the loony and called angrily, "I'll deal with you later, chink!"


	5. Good Boy – Little Lofan – Booby Traps – ...

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Good Boy – Little Lofan – Booby Traps – Someone who Likes Children

Now the man was gone and I was alone with the loony. Nerves immediately started turning my muscles into water. I looked fearfully at the loon now, regretting ever making the other man go away. I mean, even if the loony was blind, he was still downright insane and dangerous! 

The loony looked at me for a second before he burst into tears and came running to give me a hug.

"Good boy! Good boy! You good boy!" he said patting my head like I was a darned dog. I was frozen with shock there. How could he run to where I was if he was blind?

"Why, ain't you blind?" I asked in astonishment.

"What mean this 'blind'?" he asked.

"I means yer can't see." I explained.

"What you saying, little Lofan, I see." The loony said. That was the moment I started doubting that he was actually from an asylum. I didn't quite know what he was, but he didn't seem so bad or dangerous.

"Hey mister, do you know where they find the gold?" I asked. 

His face immediate fell with the world 'gold,' to my surprise. He started ranting. "Oh! Oh! "Gold! That shtupid Da-bi-zi Parkason take my claim! My claim!" He stared jumping in excitement and waving his hands in front of his face curled into fists. It though he was going to plumb hit me, or worse! I started hollering and ran away fast as I could back to Huck and the Parkerson brothers in town.

Huck looked might sorry when I saw him, as if he missed me. So I came up to him and gave him a scare. He took my playfulness to mean that I warn't mad at him no more so we made up and I tole him about the escaped loony, while the Parkersons arranged for a place for all of us to stay at. They asked for a considerable of money from us to pay for the inn room. I couldn't figure out if it was a cause the prices in California were higher than those in Missouri or if it was cause they were ripping off un us. Either way, I didn't care much. I was too busy worrying about the loony showing up any minute to get me.

Huck and I decided to put booby traps around the inn room we got to keep away the slanted eye madman. We swiped some lard from the kitchen and smeared it 'cross the wooden boards of the room right in front of the doorway. My marble's supplemented the slick ground so that no one could get passed on two feet 'cept me and Huck cause we knew where to step – where their warn't no lard or marbles. We worked on the windows next, by setting a book on the top of the frame so that it would fall and hit anyone who tried to open it on the head  - or at least make a big enough noise to alarm Huck and me so that we could run across the floor on the special unslippery spots we knew off and get the hell outter there. 

We had all the traps set up when Jeb called us down to meet the fourth Parkerson brother that had just come to visit. They'd a'told us bout Miles Parkerson being really fond of chillen so we expected that he'd want to meet us right away. But at that time, Huck and I had been taking apart a chair in the room so that we could use the legs as clubs against the runaway loony so we were too occupied to come down right away. I shouted that we would be down in a few but confounded Jebs had to tell his brother to come right up an' see us. A few minutes later Huck and I were jumping up in alarm with clubs in our hands as we heard a man shout as he slipped on our floor with a thud and came sliding towards the center of the room. Huck and I immediately jumped on the bed and ran to the windowsill. Huck lifted the window up as I batted away the falling book with the chair clubs with all my strength. It ended flying right towards the trespasser sliding around our floor and hit him straight on the forehead!

As he groaned with pain and rubbed his head, Huck and I leapt out of the window and grabbed onto a tree just outside the window. I stepped on Huck's head a great deal and gave him some trouble as we both climbed down the window messily. Then we heard shouting coming from atop of us and I looked up to see the man that had been with the loony shouting like hell at us! My mouth fell wide open and I reckon Miles recognized me cause his face grew even redder with choleric anger and he screamed at the top of his longs, "You! That Chink ran off with all my equipment because of you! All your damn "help me, Injuns are attacking my parents!" Get the hell back up here! I'm gonna kill yer!"

I looked at Huck as we ran madly from that place. He asked me incredulously, "That's someone who _likes_ chillen?"


	6. The Chinese–Kung Fu— Introductions—Orien...

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The Chinese–Kung Fu— Introductions—Oriental Magic—Robin Hood

Huck and I didn't have nowheres to go now, since we were too afeard to go back to the Parkerson's. We expected they hated us – well, at least me- now. We went back into the desert thinking that that must where the goal was, since we'd seen Miles there with equipment an all. I was shaking with fear that we'd see the loony again but Huck tried to console me.

"That ain't no loony you saw." he says to me. "It's a chink. Ain't you know what a chink is?"

I thought about it, and reckoned I didn't know. "No."

"Pap told me all about them. They're poor indolent souls from China come here for a chance at opportunity. Pap use to say they are downright evil, but then again Pap didn't like niggers much neither."

"Chinese!" I cried, "Now that explains why he started shaking his fists all sporadically and kicking up a storm! By god, Huck, I saw him do Kung Fu!" The pride of witnessing the notorious style of fighting I had read all about - even though I hadn't known that I was witnessing it at the time - put me in a mood of determination. I thought back to the chinaman and remembered that he warn't so bad until I had thought he was going crazy on me. We had to go find him! I knew right there that there was no way we could find gold without the chinaman's magic Chinese powers and kung fu. And additionally, he had Miles' equipment. "Huck! We gotta find that chink!"

So we wandered around the desert some until we came to a river and found the rice-eater crying miserably on a rock by the rapids. "My poor baby and wife." The chinaman sobbed, "How may I take you to America if no find gold.  How I find gold if I not have land.  That Yang-gui-zi take my land and I no have claim no more.  My poor wife, how much I disappoint you."

Huck and I watched the chink for a few minutes felling might sorry for him afore we called to him.

"Hey Chinaman!" I hollered. "It's me – your little lofan!"

The chink looked up, saw us, and brightened. "Ah my good boy!" he called. He was mighty glad to see me and called me his hero and all and I was mighty embarrassed. Well, perhaps not that embarrassed. We introduced ourselves to each other. 

"I'm Thomas Sawyer, but you can call me Tom."

"Huckleberry Finn. Huck."

"Wei Chee-Hui," the chinaman told us and we looked at him with our mouths open.

"What?" Huck and I chimed.

"You call me Sam," he amended.

So Sam, Huck, and I made plans to pan for gold together which Sam learned us was the easier way to find gold. Huck and I had been thinking we'd mine in the caves. Now, there was a problem since Sam had had a claim on a site that he had a good intuition about but the Parkerson's brother Miles had stolen it from him. 

Everyman knows that a Chinaman's oriental magic beats even a nigger's so we knew we had to get that claim of land Miles stole. While we were plotting Sam got to talking about his family back in China whom he wanted to bring over to America soon as he got enough money to send for them. He started telling us all about his son about our age. The young feller who was really into this game called Mah Jong. Sam tried to learn us the game with his little blocks with mysterious designs painted on them but Huck refused to touch the game pieces saying they had some curse written upon them. Then Sam told us about his pretty little wife whom he missed like crazy and loved so much and I felt real sorry because I knew just how he felt cause I was missing Becky Thatcher like crazy some days. But I knowed that when I got back home with a sack full of more gole, Becky and I will be happy for the rest of our lives.

Sam doesn't have that self-confidence to keep him going on so Huck and I know we just gotta help him.  Huck reckoned that we should find a sheriff, as his pap had told him they was bad fellows, so it probably meant they was half-decent, but I said the best way to settle this was to steal it back and be like Robin Hood.  I told him he could be Little John, as I was just set on bein' Robin, as the stealing was my idea, as the Parkersons was just as dishonest as them old rich people in England Robin stole from.  Huck agreed but said we needed ourselves a good plan. So we'se just set ourselves down together to think it through.


	7. Sam’s Cooking—Sabotage—Chinese Dresses

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_Sam's Cooking—Sabotage—Chinese Dresses_

Sam busied himself with cooking something odd over the fire.  I saw the rice in there but there were some strange odd shaped things in there which he had stuffed some mixture in before droppin' them in the pot.

"Ah, my good wife, she make best jiaozi in province.  You like, you no had before.  Not like wife make them, but still good.  You like," he said, smiling to himself, remembering his wife I reckon.  Huck looked sadly at the man, wearing the same look as when he looked at Jim, though I couldn't figure why.  I reckoned we aughta tie all the Parkersons to their beds. Then, while Huck threatened to cut their throats, I'd make off with the paper sayin' who owned it.  Huck had to point out though, that he couldn't very well hold a knife to all four brothers at once And how would I find the paper fast enough without having the brothers raise the alarm? 

"Most likely the brothers'll go celebrate gettin' a claim without havin' to pay the land claim office for it," said Huck.  "It's a mighty sad thing that the land office forgot to put the chink's name on the slip. Maybe they didn't forget at all."

"In either case, it doesn't get us any closer to gettin' that slip back," I said, uncomfortable thinkin' about what Huck just said.  He has the worst habit of sayin' some of the worst things about other people till a body feels you can't trust no one. 

"Well, if the Parkersons are out, we can get to their room and get the slip," said Huck, "We can then take it to the land office, get it in _our_ name, and share it with Sam.  That way, I reckon, all of us win, 'cept, of course, the Parkersons".  

I agreed it were a mighty good plan, 'cept I wanted to do somethin' to get back at the Parkersons for cheatin' us outta the hotel room.  I remembered I had that knife from the Injun and Huck had the tomahawk.  

"Huck" I said, "We could use the stuff from the Injun to wreak the hotel room.  The tomahawk could smash up their beds, and I could slash up the beddin' and then they'd have to pay for all the damage in the mornin'".

"Why not just take their money instead?" said Huck.

"Huck, don't you use that brain you got?" I said, "This they'd notice right away and wouldn't get a good night sleep, but with your plan they wouldn't notice 'til mornin'".

"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad," said Huck.  

"Yes it would," I said "Cause they'd just have a bad mornin' not payin' and all.  With this plan they'd have a bad night's rest _and_ not be able to pay for all the damage in the mornin'".  

Eventually Huck agreed, and we sat down to eat what the chink had made.  It actually was quite good, though when I asked what was in it, the chink just kinda winked at me and gave me a you-don't-want-to-know look.  Huck and me reckon'd we aughta head to the hotel 'round the time 'tween the moon rising and being at its highest.  So after telling the chinaman we was going to get back the paper, he protested, saying "You in danger if go, good boy no go".  But we told him it were the only way, so he let us go. 

Getting in the room warn't hard, as the Parkersons left the window to their room wide open.  It were the same room Huck and me cleared outta, on the second floor.  There were a ladder nearby that Huck wanted to climb, but I knew that weren't the proper way.

"Huck," I whispers, as when you break in somewheres, you whisper the entire time, "We gotta climb up the logs, you can't just climb a ladder.  It ain't done that way." 

With that, I climbed up, and Huck eventually followed, saying I could go down first when we got out.  We surveyed the room, with the four beds, we havin' cleared out our stuff when we'd left.  They said they'd sleep two to a bed and we'd each get our own bed, for frontin' some money, but we now doubted that considerable.  So Huck went to work with the tomahawk while I slashed up the bedding on the opposite bed.  When we'd done all the damage we could to the beds, I looked at their packs and saw some kerosene in the packs.

"Huck," I said, "We could douse ev'rything with this," holding the kerosene can, "And then they can't even sleep in this room. They'd have to sleep outside!"

Huck says, "Well, what if a spark hits it and ev'ryone else burns up in the fire 'cept those four, then wouldn't we have saved their lives and murdered all the rest?"

I had to admit, for once, Huck had a point.  I guess he'd started usin' his head, so I had to rethink the plan.  I found molasses in Buck's pack and so with the tomahawk, hacked it open, though Huck complained considerable that it would forever stick to the blade. We spread it all over all the beds. Huck was pretty powerful upset about the molasses on his tomahawk, as it rather got on the feathers, and they looked like dirty old fluff.  I said he should stop complaining as it was all for the chinaman. We needed to find the slip.  Huck found it quickly enough, but I figured since we'd destroyed the beds, we'd aughta slash the bags too.  Huck was set against it, telling me to quit it as I emptied out the bags, starting with Buck's.  I found two dresses in it, different from any I'd ever seen. Huck reckoned they was Chinese.

"I'se talkin' to Sam, and he talked about his wife's gowns, and these things remind me of what he was agoin' on about" said Huck.  Well, I was just powerful curious 'bout how them dresses found their ways into Buck's pack when I could hear shouting and footsteps heading our way.  Huck heard 'em too and looked under the door.  When he came up, he looked right scared.

"It's them!" he cried, "What're we gonner to do?  They'll kill us for sure!" 

I looked around, seeing them foreign gowns and put one on. I then put on a kerchief round my head to look like a maid.  Huck stared at me, shaking his head saying "It won't do no good Tom, I tried it once, it don't do no good, they won't be fooled." I told him we didn't have much of a choice, as we still had to cut up the bags, so he quick got on the other gown and wrapped round hi head  a kerchief, stuffing away the tomahawk and land slip and grabbing a rag lookin' like he were a maid lookin' to dust a room. I grabbed another rag just as the Parkersons came in.


	8. The Land Office—Property Claim—The Sheri...

**8**

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_The Land Office—Property Claim—The Sheriff—_

_The Parkersons' Brawl_

Their faces, I reckon, I'll never forget.  It would be a right knee-slappin' sight if we hadn't known they woulda taken the strips of slashed beddin' and made nooses for both our necks if they knew who we was.  Lucky for us, the chinaman's luck held, as all four were clearly drunk.  Huck later said he'd wondered how they stayed on their feet, on account of his Pap always laid down when he looked that drunk.  They all kinda staggered into the room, at first only lookin' at the feathers scattered ev'ry which way and broken bedsteads.  Then Jeb noticed us.  I put on my best shocked-innocence look as he looked at us.

"What're you two rice-pickers doin' here?" he said, "Did you two do this?  If you did, it won't just be your jobs that you loose!"  

He was getting scarily angry.  Huck always came up with the better lies, so he said, "No sir, no cause this!  We come, we clean, but we no can clean this".

I inwardly smiled at Huck's quick study of the chink's way of talken.  It felt odd, being the one called a chink.  I started thinkin' maybe Sam didn't like bein' called it either, but couldn't think about it too long, on account of Jeb's fast grab of my gown. He shoved me against the wall and said, "You better not move, as my brothers and me are goin' to go talk to the boss. You ain't gonner have no job no more, if yer lucky. You just hope you get off easy." He gave me a final glare and stalked out drunkenly, followed by his brothers.  I looked at Huck, and saw in his eyes the same thing I was feeling and we both cleared outta there, usin' the tree.  We didn't never slash up their packs, though lookin' back, I think we did enough. We quick took off the robes and hats, stuffing them outta sight and grabbing the land slip, running to the land office, prayin' it were open.

When we reached the building where the land office wars, we found it was open, even this late. The building doubled as the sheriff's office, and I reckon he never closes, either he or a deputy's always there. We walked over to the land claim part of the building and talked to the clerk, an old grandfatherly lookin' man, about gettin' our claim properly made.

"We've been settin' out there goin' on six months, havin' a chink hold it for us while we came out here," said I, 'memberin' that Sam done told us he'd been settin' the claim six months, "and we'd like it now registered to us two.  He got the slip, but no name on it, as we's goin' to own it".

"Well, that's fair, as he gave it to you, though he could claim it hisself, that's a right decent chink you got yourselves out there" said the man, while filling out the proper form, "Your names?"

Huck and I looked at each other.  We usually would have just used made up names, but for this, it was different. 

"Huckleberry Finn," said Huck, surprising me, that he used his real name.  He looked at me, seemin' to say that he was tired of lying and wanted  to be straight and honest.

I agreed with him, but also thought of Sam, how disappointed he'd be that he didn't own it.

"Tom Sawyer," said I, "Later we'd like to add on our chinaman as another owner."  The clerk looked up at us, with his eyebrows raised.

"Well," said he, "If you want to, though I wouldn't trust no panface to not just kill you two and claim all of it himself."

"Well, he's set our claim six months," said Huck, "And you said yourself he coulda claimed it hisself. If he cared for it six months, I reckon we can trust him."

I felt right inwardly, thinking of how happy Sam would be when he could have his name down as a co-owner of our plot.  The clerk signed it and handed it back to us.  We mentioned there were some new ditchpigs who'd come and given our chink a hard time and us too, not believin' the claim were ours.  The sheriff, named Clemens, then took notice of us and came over, saying, "Newcomers, eh?  Well, I think I'll head out with you to your claim just in case you get any more trouble tonight."

Huck and me were right grateful to him, and I began to think Huck was right about sheriffs, despite what Robin Hood had to say about the sheriff he knew.  So Sheriff Clemens headed out to our claim with us, bringing along his tent and other odd 'n' ends.  We got to our claim to see Sam boundin' towards us, all smiles.

"Me no think you lofans come back to Sam," he says, "You get land?"  

We told him the good news and he was right pleased, shouting to almighty heav'n.  He was doin' his Kung Fu in happiness.  Sheriff Clemens gave us a look saying he agreed with my first thoughts, that the man belonged in a' asylum.  Huck and me just grinned, knowin' Sam was thinkin' of nothing but his wife and son. 

Well, soon the next day, the Parkersons got into trouble, all four killin' I reckon about 10 men in a brawl in a bar, after their bad night sleepin' outside 'cause o' our work.  They got into a fight 'bout some bar maid that Jeb got an eye for, and the girl's man didn't like Jeb's eye bein' on her. He and his friends got goin' at Jeb and Jeb's brothers jumped in.  Huck said he heard it were a right dog fight, but in the end all four was hung and that were the last of them.  I didn't like goin' to town much, as I liked Sam a heap lot more than any other father I'd ever got.  He always called me his good boy. I eventually learned to write his real name, though every time I'd try to say it, he'd bust out laughing, so I'd just always call him Sam.  


	9. Striking it Rich Again— Sam’s Family—Huc...

**9**

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_Striking it Rich (Again)— Sam's Family—Huck Wants A New Mowawk_

Eventually we got Sam's name on the land claim slip and he was so happy I thought he was fit to bust with it.  He found a chicken somewheres and made us this real fine dinner, though spicier than any Cajun I'd had back home.  He said it was named after some general, though I thought a general would be more busy fighting battles and winning women's hearts than cookin' like some woman to make a dish, but I'se eternally thankful to that general for that dish.  Some days later, we was all pannin' in the stream, when Sam let out an almighty whoop and soon after I joined him.  For at the bottom of our pans, was shiny flecks of gold.  

"Rich, we rich!" shouted Sam, "My wife and child come soon, we all be rich.  You both good boys. Good boys! My little lofans. I never may thank you!"

Huck and me both shouted and hollered.  Now I knew I could write Becky Thatcher and she would come and we'd have the prettiest weddin' ever seen in this part of the country. 

But then Huck said to me, "Tom, Sam ain't got no fortune, and we already gots one already, so I figures he needs the gold more 'n' we do. So I'm givin' my part to him. Now I wanna go see if I can find that Injun we met and ask him if his tribe made it and for a new tomahawk, since you wrecked mine!"  he said.  He ain't never let me live that down.  

The more I thought about it, the more I agreed with Huck.  We could go and get more money, as we weren't tied down and no one would call us names like they would Sam.  Plus, he got himself a family too.  I thought of Robin Hood and figured, "Aw well, I reckon I can live without a huge fortune and still get Becky Thatcher!"  So Huck and me panned that river for all we was worth.  Sam did too, but mostly he spent his time makin' a house for his family, and a right nice house it were too.  He told us he'd never made a house afore, as he never owned land afore, so he made a house like them ones he'd saw in town.  It were a nice log house too, and Huck and me was just thrilled to see him so proud of it and even more thrilled when we saw his family come and move in.  

His wife was just the sweetest thing ever, always fussing over us, worrying about when we'd get married, until a body would want to scream.  She were too sweet for us to ever get angry at.  At last, one day, Sam, Huck, and me had gotten enough gold to fill up a heap o' grain sacks, which we'd hid in a cave far from the house.  We told Sam we was agoin, and he looked right sorrowful, but accepted we was leavin'.  We went out to the cave and he made ready to split the gold three ways when I stopped him.  

"Sam," I said, "We doan' want none of this gold. You keep it. We gots ourselves lots of money back home already. We want you to keep it and use it for your family".

Sam just kinda stared at us, not believing what I'd said.  "I not understand," he said, after a minute, "Why you come west if not for fortune making?" 

"For adventure" said Huck, grinning like a fool at me, "And we'se had adventures enough here.  If you insist on not taking no money, we'll just dump it in the stream again, and you'll just get it back again.  This way'll save you heaps o' work".

Sam just stared some more, then came over and shook our hands. He looked genuinely blissful and I couldn't have felt better in my entire life.  Huck and me was fit to be tied, we was so happy.  Sam's wife made us so much food for our last meal together we was afeared we was going to burst, we ate so much.  She also made us lots of food for the road.  The last we saw of them, they was waving at us as we set off on the horses we'd bought with some gold from Sam.  We smiled at the chinese folks and turned towards the road, towards new adventures. 

I was goan to ignore Huck as he told me time and time again, "I don't want no more adventures. I'm done with them."  I told him that just warn't natural, but of course he never listens to the way things should be done.  So, we just headed off together on the open road, pointed in whatever direction the horses went, knowing where we'd been and looking forward to where we'd be.  


	10. Back East Again—Another Mohawk—Easter Su...

**10**

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_Back East Again—Another Mohawk—Easter Sunday— Samuel Clemens_

It turned out that the Sheriff Clemens o' Sacremento was heading back east to visit some family members for Easter in St. Louis so we was able to hitch a ride with him some ways back to the Injun territory. The ride was considerably better on the way east then the way west 'cause the Sheriff had one pretty daughter and I coulda sworn Huck was starting to feel sweet on her. It made me miss Becky sorely but I was happy seeing Huck finally thinking logically. 

The Injun recognized us immediately when we made it there and replaced Huck's Mohawk with and even better one. I never seen him so happy. For a while I was afeared that he'd want to stay with the Injun's stead of continuing all the back to Missouri. Fortunate for me, Huck _was_ a sucker for Mary, that's Sheriff Clemen's daughter, and he came along! All the way.

We had to eventually part with the sheriff on St. Louis, though and Huck got Mary's address to write to her. He learned how to do write perfectly well, writin that book. We go passage on a steamboat heading up north with the gold Sam had given us. Huck and me made plans on the go back to the cave Injun Joe had stuffed some munitions in as soon as we got home and play Sheriff.  I was all itching to do it right away but I sorely felt like seeing how my Aunt Polly was. She's a sweet lady and I knew she must had thought we were surely dead, they way we'd been gone for so long. Huck understton and waited for me outside my window as I climbed up the tree to my window. I set foot on the familiar rug on my floor, in my familiar floor and sighed. I hadn't realized that I'd missed the place somewhat. I came out of my room and searched the house for Aunt Polly or Sid. To my astonishment, they warn't nowhere to be found! Then I headed towards the kitchen and noticed the beginnings of a wonderful feast. Now, I knew that Aunt Polly had no idea that we was rreturning so it warn't no welcome party. I believed it was the very day of Easter! Everyone must a been at the church. So I went and grabbed Huck and we ran to the church where everyone was praying in solemn silence as the preacher spoke

"Brothers and sisters" said the preacher, "This is a joyous day.  This is the day that Christ miraculously came back from the dead.  Even though no one believed he would come back, even though his disciples doubted his word, he arose on this sacred day, providing us the hope of salvation from hell and our sins.  As when he raised Lazarus, he shall raise us on the Judgment Day.  Rejoice, for He is risen!"

Our timing couldn't have been better.  We came in, doors loudly bangin' away as we strode in just as the preacher declared the "He is risen" part.  All heads turned towards us, and people began screaming. Aunt Polly just downright fainted. They told us later that they'd thogght we'd drowned again when we didn't send word of being alive for months. Aunt Polly eventually forgave me when Aunt Sally came to visit to see that we really were alive with the letter I had left on my pillow at her house in hand. Aunt Polly had never read it. That poor lady, I feel sorter bad how she has to put up with me.

Huck's living in the woods now, like a true Robin Hood. We'd paid carefully attention when Sam's house was being built and were able to set up a smaller, probably weaker but still mostly decent cabin for Huck. We bought supplies using some of the gold Judge Thatcher's been holding for us. We've collected a lot since we've been gone almost a whole year – our allowance just kept piling up. Huck's got his freedom and I can visit anytime I want. All I have to do is meow so that he don't think I'm no robber or trespasser or nothing. 

One day we're planning on heading down south to get some cigars from the Mexicans. Huck says he doan' feel like no more adventures, but I think I can convince him. When we do go, I'll write it all down. Unlike Huck who said he wouldn't ever make a book again, I've taken to writing. Anything I can think of can happen on paper when I writes it. I like the feeling. Aunt Polly said that with my imagination I can prolly write a few million books. If I do's I dern't think I can use my real name, despite Huck and my recent decision to be straight and stop lying. I think I'll use the name Sam. Samuel Clemens.


End file.
